The Bonaventure Principal

After the world ends a bunch of people that happened to be trapped inside bank vaults wander out into the wastelands and try to figure out what to do with themselves. One of them, a BRIAN LETTERMAN, happens to have a frisbee with him. The remnants of the human race decide to play ultimate frisbee. The shirts win the first round, the skins take the second and the third. After that they start to get cold. Some of the people have already died (thanks to the chemical aftermath of the atomic holocaust) and so the living decide to use the bodies as fuel for a bonfire and then sit around it discussing their old lives on the previous Earth. A LAWRENCE BONAVENTURE is eager to continue playing ultimate frisbee and in an attempt to get everybody else excited he accidentally tosses the frisbee into the corpse fire. Brian Letterman, the frisbee-bringer, and TITO, the big-one, cast him out of their society for forever ruining their only source of entertainment.

Lawrence doesn't mind, he just goes off as far as he can and then starts building a really big sand-castle. He lives in this sand-castle for the next few years, until it is overtaken by enormous atomic crabs. ALBUNEA LOPHOMASTIX, the King of the Atomic Crabs, decides that this castle will be his kingdom, regardless of who constructed it. Lawrence doesn't necessarily agree with that, but when enormous phosphorescent crabs are making demands of you, you tend not to vocalize your dissent.

The corpse fires eventually burn out and the tribe is forced to kill each other off one-by-one to keep it burning. Burners are chosen by their ability to make mistakes. This is referred to as the Bonaveture Principal. Whenever someone trips and falls their comrades whisper "He really bonaventured that one" or "That guy's overdue for a bonaventure." Eventually only Lawrence and Tito are left, and they know that one of them is going to have to be killed but they can't decide which one. Tito claims that as the biggest he has the best chance of fighting off whatever atomic creature might attack. Lawrence thinks that, as fun-bringer, he deserves to live longest. Tito reminds him that the fun has long since been destroyed. Lawrence eventually submits to this fact and lets Tito kill him and warm himself by his corpse. Eventually that fire runs out too and Tito goes wandering and discovers Lawrence's castle, now inhabited by King Lophomastix. Tito, thinking it was the crabs who constructed the castle, comes to believe that the crabs are all-powerful super-intelligent beings and so he worships them as Gods. The crabs are super-intelligent but they are not all-powerful, and so they accept this worship and put Tito to work building them more sand-castles. Tito is far less coordinated than Lawrence was and so the crabs eventually tire of his poorly constructed castles and eat him.

Lawrence ends up discovering an entitre continent untouched by the bombs where lots of human people live freely and peacefully but they don't accept him into their society beacuse he's got sand in between his toes and they think that's just one of those things that is difficult to get over. Lawrence spends the rest of his life sitting on the outskirts of this contient watching them have fun, thinking about ultimate frisbee and how if he'd had better accuracy maybe things would have turned out different.