Two BIRDS are sitting on a telephone wire.
"I feel particularly glum today."
"What?! Why?"
"I think I hate myself."
"What?!"
"Because everything is insignificant."
"That's exactly what makes life worth living! If everything is insignificant, then anything can be important!"
"But what's the point?"
"You're here! You're alive!"
"What if I'm not here? What if I'm not alive?"
"Then you're someplace else, or you're dead."
"Exactly. I feel dead."
"How can you be dead if you're talking to me?"
"Because every day is the same. I fly with the same stupid flock, go home to the same stupid nest, eat the same...fucking...grub. Everything is always the same. I could die and nobody would notice. My time is up."
"If time is fleeting than time has value, and if time has value than your time is worth something. Hmm?"
"Worth what? I eat? I make babies? I die? Exciting."
"Think, goyim! Your time is your life! Your life is yours! What do you want to do with it? You want to waste it kvetching?"
"My existenc is pathetic. I'll never accomplish anything meaningful."
"You accomplish something every day!"
"No I don't."
"Did you wake up this morning?"
"Yeah."
"Then there you go!"
"But that's nothing!"
"Then what's something?"
"Something important."
"Like what?"
"Curing hunger."
"You're gonna cure hunger? Look at yourself you're barely taking care of your own plummage. What're you gonna cure?"
"Hunger."
"Is it fame? You want to be remembered for generations?"
"No."
"So what?"
"... I dunno."
"Alright, let me ask you a question then. What's the most important thing in your life, right now at this very moment? Not your flock, not your nest, not even your stupid (though, I think, delicious) grub. What's the one thing that you live for?"
"I don't live for anything. I'm not alive."
"Let's imagine you live for your ideology."
"What?"
"Your beliefs."
"I know what an ideology is, I don't understand how you mean."
"The most important thing in your world, right now, is your beliefs. Would you say that's true?"
"I don't care about anything. Not even my beliefs."
"Then why do you get so offended when I challenge them?"
"That's-"
"Are you going to let me change your beliefs?"
"No."
"So you would say your beliefs are important to you?"
"... When you put it that way."
"So there you go! Your ideologies are important, therefore they have worth. A part of you has value yet."
"... Oh."
"Everything is insignificant except that one piece you aren't ready to part with. That's the piece that makes life worth living."
Speechless.
"Life as a bird is boring, sure, but it could be a lot worse. I could be a tsetse fly; I could live for five minutes. Heck, I could be a human and be stuck on two legs."
"Sometimes I wonder what that would be like."
"They got their perks."
"Yeah?"
"They've got their dreaming."
"So what do I do?"
"Be yourself. Panic and worry."
"But panic and worry are what I hate about myself."
"But that's who you are, goyim. Accept it."
"I think I have."
"Giddy up."
They fly off.
"I feel particularly glum today."
"What?! Why?"
"I think I hate myself."
"What?!"
"Because everything is insignificant."
"That's exactly what makes life worth living! If everything is insignificant, then anything can be important!"
"But what's the point?"
"You're here! You're alive!"
"What if I'm not here? What if I'm not alive?"
"Then you're someplace else, or you're dead."
"Exactly. I feel dead."
"How can you be dead if you're talking to me?"
"Because every day is the same. I fly with the same stupid flock, go home to the same stupid nest, eat the same...fucking...grub. Everything is always the same. I could die and nobody would notice. My time is up."
"If time is fleeting than time has value, and if time has value than your time is worth something. Hmm?"
"Worth what? I eat? I make babies? I die? Exciting."
"Think, goyim! Your time is your life! Your life is yours! What do you want to do with it? You want to waste it kvetching?"
"My existenc is pathetic. I'll never accomplish anything meaningful."
"You accomplish something every day!"
"No I don't."
"Did you wake up this morning?"
"Yeah."
"Then there you go!"
"But that's nothing!"
"Then what's something?"
"Something important."
"Like what?"
"Curing hunger."
"You're gonna cure hunger? Look at yourself you're barely taking care of your own plummage. What're you gonna cure?"
"Hunger."
"Is it fame? You want to be remembered for generations?"
"No."
"So what?"
"... I dunno."
"Alright, let me ask you a question then. What's the most important thing in your life, right now at this very moment? Not your flock, not your nest, not even your stupid (though, I think, delicious) grub. What's the one thing that you live for?"
"I don't live for anything. I'm not alive."
"Let's imagine you live for your ideology."
"What?"
"Your beliefs."
"I know what an ideology is, I don't understand how you mean."
"The most important thing in your world, right now, is your beliefs. Would you say that's true?"
"I don't care about anything. Not even my beliefs."
"Then why do you get so offended when I challenge them?"
"That's-"
"Are you going to let me change your beliefs?"
"No."
"So you would say your beliefs are important to you?"
"... When you put it that way."
"So there you go! Your ideologies are important, therefore they have worth. A part of you has value yet."
"... Oh."
"Everything is insignificant except that one piece you aren't ready to part with. That's the piece that makes life worth living."
Speechless.
"Life as a bird is boring, sure, but it could be a lot worse. I could be a tsetse fly; I could live for five minutes. Heck, I could be a human and be stuck on two legs."
"Sometimes I wonder what that would be like."
"They got their perks."
"Yeah?"
"They've got their dreaming."
"So what do I do?"
"Be yourself. Panic and worry."
"But panic and worry are what I hate about myself."
"But that's who you are, goyim. Accept it."
"I think I have."
"Giddy up."
They fly off.
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