INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
A nice, suburban dining room. SAM (30), a young father, sits across the table from his son TOBY (10), a round, pumpkin-faced boy with wavy hair like a plate of lasagna. Sam’s wife DIANE (30) is washing dishes in the kitchen.
SAM -- Toby.
Toby’s got his arms crossed, looking away, scowling.
SAM -- Toby.
A single piece of BROCCOLI is the only thing on Toby’s plate.
SAM -- Toby.
TOBY -- I don’t wanna!
DIANE -- For God’s sake Sam.
SAM -- Just give me one damn minute! Toby.
TOBY -- What?
SAM -- Have I ever told you about Bone-maggots?
DIANE -- Sam!
Sam “shushes” her with a finger, then continues.
SAM -- The reason little boys eat broccoli – the reason we all do – is because if we don’t, we get Bone-maggots. Do you remember that raccoon you found in the pool shed?
Toby nods, afraid.
SAM -- Maggots are those little squishy bugs you found. The ones that smelled hot and bad. Remember? Remember how bad they smelled?
Toby nods.
SAM -- Well, if you don’t eat your broccoli those white little larvae swell up inside your bones, like a balloon, swelling up your whole body from the inside, and you get pussey, and red, and you die, Toby. Just like your sister did when she didn't eat her greens.
Diane has come in from the kitchen, horrified.
TOBY -- I don’t have a sister.
SAM -- Exactly my point.
Diane feels her stomach. Toby is smug – he’s too smart to be duped.
SAM -- If you don’t eat your broccoli in ten seconds, you’re going to be very, very sorry. I can promise you that.
Toby ignores him.
SAM -- Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Nothing happens. Toby smirks.
But suddenly his face goes red. He’s swelling up from the inside! His eyes bulge! He jerks up from the table. He’s moving like a puppet doll – controlled from inside! The Bone-maggots taking over. Sam falls backward out of his chair.
SAM -- Jesus Christ! Bone-maggots!
He looks back at Diane.
SAM -- Shotgun! Now!
Diane goes to a cupboard, pulls out a shotgun, cocks it, and tosses it to Sam, who’s on the floor. Sam aims it at Toby but Toby’s already too close - he BATS the barrel away. It BLASTS the ceiling, rattling the chandelier, crashing plaster to the floor.
Toby drops down on Sam, seizing his neck, choking him. The shotgun tumbles under the table.
SAM -- Help!
Diane steadies herself.
SAM -- Diane!
She charges for the table, but Toby sees her going for it. He BATS her. She FLIES across the room and SLAMS into the wall.
SAM -- Diane!
Sam springs up and charges at Toby. Toby dodges him, twists him, and spins him into the dining room table. He CRASHES through it and collapses atop the rubble. Toby straightens up, cracks his knuckles and laughs, the Bone-maggots’ million voices speaking through him.
TOBY (BONE-MAGGOTS) -- Ha ha ha!
Sam cowers. He is completely at Toby’s mercy. Toby stares down at his father with white, soulless eyes. He starts to laugh – deep and evil – like some ancient Sorceror.
TOBY (BONE-MAGGOTS) -- I am a machine of nature, built to kill!
He leans down over Sam and smiles, black goo seeping out of his teeth and gums. It pours all over Sam's face. He cringes as Toby opens his mouth to feed…
DIANE -- Baby.
Toby, possessed by some terrible evil, growls up at his mother. She’s got the shotgun pointed at his head - the broccoli stuffed in the barrel. She’s crying.
DIANE -- I’m sorry.
She BLASTS him.
The Bone-maggots’ million voices SCREAM.
A thick, black bloodstain SPATTERS the wall.
Silence.
The shotgun tumbles out of Diane’s fingers, and she falls to the floor, weeping. Peter cradles her. They cry together.
FADE TO:
BLACK
A nice, suburban dining room. SAM (30), a young father, sits across the table from his son TOBY (10), a round, pumpkin-faced boy with wavy hair like a plate of lasagna. Sam’s wife DIANE (30) is washing dishes in the kitchen.
SAM -- Toby.
Toby’s got his arms crossed, looking away, scowling.
SAM -- Toby.
A single piece of BROCCOLI is the only thing on Toby’s plate.
SAM -- Toby.
TOBY -- I don’t wanna!
DIANE -- For God’s sake Sam.
SAM -- Just give me one damn minute! Toby.
TOBY -- What?
SAM -- Have I ever told you about Bone-maggots?
DIANE -- Sam!
Sam “shushes” her with a finger, then continues.
SAM -- The reason little boys eat broccoli – the reason we all do – is because if we don’t, we get Bone-maggots. Do you remember that raccoon you found in the pool shed?
Toby nods, afraid.
SAM -- Maggots are those little squishy bugs you found. The ones that smelled hot and bad. Remember? Remember how bad they smelled?
Toby nods.
SAM -- Well, if you don’t eat your broccoli those white little larvae swell up inside your bones, like a balloon, swelling up your whole body from the inside, and you get pussey, and red, and you die, Toby. Just like your sister did when she didn't eat her greens.
Diane has come in from the kitchen, horrified.
TOBY -- I don’t have a sister.
SAM -- Exactly my point.
Diane feels her stomach. Toby is smug – he’s too smart to be duped.
SAM -- If you don’t eat your broccoli in ten seconds, you’re going to be very, very sorry. I can promise you that.
Toby ignores him.
SAM -- Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Nothing happens. Toby smirks.
But suddenly his face goes red. He’s swelling up from the inside! His eyes bulge! He jerks up from the table. He’s moving like a puppet doll – controlled from inside! The Bone-maggots taking over. Sam falls backward out of his chair.
SAM -- Jesus Christ! Bone-maggots!
He looks back at Diane.
SAM -- Shotgun! Now!
Diane goes to a cupboard, pulls out a shotgun, cocks it, and tosses it to Sam, who’s on the floor. Sam aims it at Toby but Toby’s already too close - he BATS the barrel away. It BLASTS the ceiling, rattling the chandelier, crashing plaster to the floor.
Toby drops down on Sam, seizing his neck, choking him. The shotgun tumbles under the table.
SAM -- Help!
Diane steadies herself.
SAM -- Diane!
She charges for the table, but Toby sees her going for it. He BATS her. She FLIES across the room and SLAMS into the wall.
SAM -- Diane!
Sam springs up and charges at Toby. Toby dodges him, twists him, and spins him into the dining room table. He CRASHES through it and collapses atop the rubble. Toby straightens up, cracks his knuckles and laughs, the Bone-maggots’ million voices speaking through him.
TOBY (BONE-MAGGOTS) -- Ha ha ha!
Sam cowers. He is completely at Toby’s mercy. Toby stares down at his father with white, soulless eyes. He starts to laugh – deep and evil – like some ancient Sorceror.
TOBY (BONE-MAGGOTS) -- I am a machine of nature, built to kill!
He leans down over Sam and smiles, black goo seeping out of his teeth and gums. It pours all over Sam's face. He cringes as Toby opens his mouth to feed…
DIANE -- Baby.
Toby, possessed by some terrible evil, growls up at his mother. She’s got the shotgun pointed at his head - the broccoli stuffed in the barrel. She’s crying.
DIANE -- I’m sorry.
She BLASTS him.
The Bone-maggots’ million voices SCREAM.
A thick, black bloodstain SPATTERS the wall.
Silence.
The shotgun tumbles out of Diane’s fingers, and she falls to the floor, weeping. Peter cradles her. They cry together.
FADE TO:
BLACK
4 comments:
Hilarity. I'm sending this to my 12 yr old brother to read right now :)
genius...
Who's "Peter"?
He's some other guy who also happened to be there.
Seriously, though, I think Peter was the name of the Sam character before I decided to change it, thereby creating a rather clunky reference to the golden age of Cheers.
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