Solitude Bears Fruit

Last night I went for a walk and found myself at the edge of the forest. I stood still, alone in the dark. I closed my eyes and listened to the forest itself; hollow, swaying, a light wet wind, tall grass, dense tree trunks, shrinking and expanding. I listened for a long time and was gradually frightened. I began to let my mind wander and found myself imagining a group of teenagers smoking pot in the forest, each of them laughing, alive and vital. I thought about how they are alive and how I am scared. I felt absurd comparing myself to my own imagination, but I also felt somehow existentially thicker. Proud, safe, bloated with confidence. A sense of something over me, something large but not threatening. I felt emancipated, free-wheeling and disengaged. Then I breathed and it was gone.